Silent Confusion
by SophiaL17
Summary: Snape wants to help the Headmaster, but... is his assistance making him better or worse?


_Snape wants to help the Headmaster, but... is his assistance making him better or worse? _

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The sitting man turned another page while he sighed. This book wasn't interesting and certainly not something he would read when he had the choice, but this particular chapter needed to be examined. The information could be useful in some unusual way, but so far, the text was uninteresting.

He glanced up at the other person in this room and saw that he was sitting in his armchair with his eyes closed. The reading wizard closed his book silently and lay it aside while he stared at the other.

It was happening more now, especially when he was visiting him in the evening. They would talk about serious matters and common, casual things, or they would sit in peaceful silence while they were sipping their tea or reading a book.

Today was a calm day: the Dark Lord hadn't ordered a new attack and was busy cleaning the chaos that the Aurors and Order had created, it was a relatively calm period for both students and teachers and the Ministry and Order were in a better position than their enemies.

Maybe that was the reason why the older wizard was taking a nap. He could rest now, knowing that a newspaper article, a horrible message or a distressed person wasn't waiting for him when he woke up.

The Headmaster definitely needed his rest. No matter how youthful and frivolous he tried to act, his body couldn't fake its old age. Snape had noticed that the other was not so sharp any more. He would occasionally forget a thing, his behaviour was not energetic and flippant any more, his movements were slower and less controlled and his eyes had lost some of its twinkling quality.

Snape had tried to disregard the many signs, but now, when he was concentrating on the sleeping form, _that_ thought was whispered again in his mind.

The young wizard closed his eyes while he exhaled deeply. Yes, his thought was certainly correct, but he still had trouble accepting it.

A gentle sound caused the thinking man to look at the other again. He thought that he heard a familiar word, but the voice was too quiet.

Snape contemplated for a moment whether he should continue his disrespectful staring, but this was a rare opportunity to examine the older wizard. The young man had never lost his shy and hesitant behaviour when he was in his presence. The other would try to calm and ease him, but the feelings wouldn't leave him. Not completely. This caused him to focus his eyes on anything except the blue orbs.

But now, when the more confident wizard was slowly and silently walking to the armchair, he could study the other without feeling his piercing, but gentle blue eyes on him.

Snape stopped in front of the sleeping wizard and gazed at the closed eyes. He was wondering what the other was dreaming about. Was he even dreaming or was he in a dreamless slumber?

The answer was told, or rather whispered, a moment later.

"No..." Snape narrowed his eyes and bent down a little.

"Don't..." This wasn't a dreamless rest, or even a dream. No, this sounded like a nightmare.

The sleeping man moaned and shifted his body while his breathing was quickening.

The bent wizard stared in confusion at the other. He had never thought that the Headmaster could be suffering from a nightmare while he was silently reading his book. The other looked quite peaceful when he would occasionally glance at him.

Dumbledore groaned again.

Snape raised his right hand, but didn't touch the other. He had absolutely no idea how he should wake a sleeping person. Should he gently touch his shoulder, or must he wake him up with his voice? The act of waking up should be natural, but to purposefully wake someone up, especially when their minds were in another world...

The right hand moved itself to its natural position. Better to try the safe method first...

"Headmaster?" It was a quiet whisper. The Headmaster couldn't possibly hear that, since Snape could barely hear it himself. He swallowed and tried again, this time with more force.

"Headmaster." The other didn't respond. He didn't want to touch him, but raising his voice wouldn't work. Snape carefully touched his shoulder while he repeated his title.

The Headmaster remained silent. The young wizard applied more pressure and gently shook the other.

"Albus?"

"Hmm?" A reaction.

"Albus." Dumbledore's body stirred while he exhaled a deep breath. The blue eyes slowly opened themselves, but they were hastily widened when they saw the younger man.

"Severus!" A hand grabbed his right arm. Snape immediately tensed his body when he felt an unexpected, squeezing contact. Dumbledore roamed his gaze at the other's body and let out a deep and trembling breath. The Headmaster rested his back on the furniture while he relaxed his body.

"Headmaster?" Dumbledore looked at the onyx eyes with a questioning gaze. The dark brown orbs travelled to his right hand. His eyes followed their example.

"Oh." The Headmaster quickly released the limb with a small chuckle.

Snape examined the awoken man. Something was wrong. He acted a little confused and his manners were strange.

"Headmaster?" Puzzling blue eyes stared at piercing black eyes.

"Are you all right?" The aged face smiled a little, but the other saw that his mouth was curled up unnaturally.

"Of course." Dumbledore set both his hands on the armrests and attempted to stand up, but Snape took a small step forward to block his path. Confusing eyes looked at the dark brown ones again.

"You are not." Snape saw a slight tensing of the other's hand.

"What has happened?"

"Nothing has happened."

"Something has occurred, Headmaster."

"I was sleeping, Severus."

"You were dreaming."

"I had a... pleasant-"

"A nightmare." The young man saw a fleeting shocked look, and knew that he was getting closer to the problem. Dumbledore sighed and unclenched the muscles of his body.

"You knew?" Snape noticed the slightly defeated tone in the other's voice.

"Yes." The old wizard stared at his eyes with a confused, but slightly disconcerted glimmer.

"How?" That was a good question. Dumbledore had expressed a few words and saw some physical responses, but that didn't mean that he was having a nightmare. Snape suspected it, but it was only confirmed after Dumbledore woke up. His reactions and behaviour were very familiar to him. Snape would normally feel confused and panicked after he woke up.

"I..." What must he say? He couldn't voice his thoughts, but Dumbledore should understand that he _did _know about the nightmare.

"Did you... notice anything?" Well, Snape had perceived some signs, but only when he was close, _very _close, to the other's body.

"Yes." He didn't have to include all the details, but only the essential parts.

"Your sleep disrupted your body, and... you..." Snape tried to find an acceptable way to voice his thoughts.

"Yes?" The thinking wizard swallowed.

"You... expressed a few... words." It was silent for a few seconds. But after a moment, a small laugh could be detected.

"What?" The surprised man frowned his eyes when he saw the odd act of the Headmaster.

"I talk in my sleep?" He could see the twinkling in his blue eyes while the other chuckled again. Snape crossed his arms and remained silent.

"Did I say something that made you uncomfortable?" That question was voiced in a merry and teasing tone, but it was true. The Headmaster wasn't aware that he had answered it already, and Snape refused to mention that to him. His body language would be more than enough.

Dumbledore stared at the other's austere expression and his smile disappeared instantly while realisation dawned upon him.

"What... what did you hear?" Snape ignored his question and continued his own examination while he uncrossed his arms.

"I have heard... enough." It was a gamble. He had only heard two words. If he could convince the other that he had heard more words, Dumbledore might reveal the source of his distress.

The old wizard sighed. "It was only a dream, Severus." Dumbledore tried to sound calm, but Snape detected a small vibration in his usually serene voice.

"No, it was more." A part of him wanted to stop. The Headmaster was clearly in distress, but that didn't mean that he could confront him and force him to talk. This could be a private matter, an area where Snape had no right to enter.

But another voice appeared. Dumbledore had helped him many times when he was in trouble or misery. Snape would always refuse his help, and needed to be convinced. He could never repay the many debts, but maybe he could return one of his numerous favours. It was the least he should do, after all the things Dumbledore had done for him.

"What has happened?"

"Severus, I already told-"

"_Something _has happened._" _Snape took a step toward the seated man when he didn't respond.

"Please... tell me." Dumbledore closed his eyes and brought a hand to his eyes while his breathing increased.

"It's..." Dumbledore shook his head.

The standing man took two small steps so he was in front of the other. He slowly raised his right arm and touched the other's shoulder.

"Tell me." Dumbledore opened his eyes when he heard the soft and gentle whisper. The onyx eyes were focused intensely on him while he felt a slight pressure on his right shoulder.

"Memories." That word could mean many things. The Headmaster had lived many years now, and he would, no doubt, had many recollections. But judging from his agitated demeanour, it must had been something that had troubled, and was still troubling him. Knowing that the other would try to stay silent, Snape decided to speculate.

"Memories from your... younger self?" Snape didn't know the details, but the Headmaster had given him some information about his family and his tragic relationship. Dumbledore had not forgiven himself for his irrational acts, that he knew. So Snape was surprised when the other slightly shook his head.

The standing man furrowed his eyebrows. His first guess was the most logical one. He couldn't think of another significant event that could trigger a nightmare, but he couldn't stop now. Maybe, if he pushed enough, the Headmaster would reveal the cause of his anxiety.

"Memories from the many... casualties of the Dark Lord?" The Headmaster had a tendency to get personally involved when a new victim was reported. He would try to contact their relatives and family and would express his condolences, by letter or face to face. If that person was someone from the Order, Dumbledore would try his best to attend the funeral.

Another negative movement.

This was getting nowhere.

Snape sighed softly. A more direct approach was needed. He had no experience in this situation, except the examples that Dumbledore had showed him, but he had to to something. Anything.

"Then... what is the cause?"

"Can you not tell?" Dumbledore had composed himself while the other was speculating, but he was still avoiding the dark brown eyes.

Dumbledore was implying that the other knew the cause so Snape thought for a minute, but nothing came in his mind.

"No, I... I guess not." Sad, but unfocused blue eyes locked their gazes with confusing, onyx eyes. A very tired, mournful and hurt sigh could be heard and it remained silent for a very long moment.

"Could you release my shoulder, Severus?" Snape stared at the aged, heartbroken face with a perplexed expression. Something had happened in that previous, quiet moment.

Snape brought his hand away from the other's body and took a step back while he looked at his face. Yes, something had definitely changed and he had a slight suspicion that he had caused this sudden change.

"Headmas-"

"It is getting late." Dumbledore slowly stood up and looked slightly disorientated around him.

Snape glanced at the grandfather clock. It wasn't a late hour. He looked back at the other. The Headmaster had opened the door and was waiting for his visitor.

They walked silently to the office. But Snape stopped his movements when he noticed that the other was walking to the window, while ignoring his presence.

"I..." What must he say? He should had listened to that quiet voice, but his other part was so convinced that he was doing the right thing. He should had stopped his questions when he had the chance. It _was_ an absurd decision. But, he couldn't shake off a foreign feeling that had crept up.

He had failed.

Dumbledore had succeeded many times. And now, when he wished to help and comfort him, he failed.

He had _utterly_ failed.

Snape moved his head back to the Headmaster. He was looking out of the window, with his hands behind his back and a slight tensing of his shoulders.

He wanted to look at his face, to see his expression and eyes. He wanted to talk to him, to apologize, to explain his senseless attempt to comfort him. He wanted to hear his voice. Not the tiring, sombre and exhausted voice, but the gentle, mirthful and pleasant voice. He wanted to see his youthful, warm and motivated spirit, and not the aged, inactive and burdened air. He wanted to voice his thoughts, his true thoughts.

Snape clenched his right hand in a tight fist and swallowed.

No, he couldn't do that. He would only make Dumbledore more heartbroken and wretched. He would have to continue his silent observation.

Somewhere, deep inside him, it ached. Deeply.

But he could endure it. If that meant that the Headmaster would be less dejected and distressed, he would gladly accept it.

Yes, he would embrace it with both arms.

Snape sighed deeply and turned around to open the door. But he heard a voice.

"Goodnight, Severus." Snape froze. His voice was different. Too different. He could easily discern the tiredness and fatigue, but there was an unfamiliar quality, a sound he had never heard before.

Snape turned his head. Dumbledore was still standing at the same spot, unmoved. He exhaled deeply.

"Goodnight... Albus..." He closed his eyes and quickly left the office, before his hidden emotions would show themselves.

Dumbledore widened his eyes when he heard his response: his sad, depressed and helpless voice. His dreams and thoughts rapidly left his mind while he turned around swiftly.

"Severus!"

A vacant room greeted him.

_Oh no..._

What had happened? What did he _miss_?

What had he _done_?

_

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__This is a completed one-shot for now. This _might_ change to a longer story (it will be a small story, though). Since I'm focusing on other stories now, the chance that I'll write a second chapter is small, though. _

_But still, review or comment, please! They will certainly help me!_


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